Blog:FOREST LAKE TALKS

The weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years Day feel a bit like summer to me.  The regular schedule changes, and we either have lots more to do, or nothing at all.  That is the gift of the holiday season for those of us who normally have too much on our calendars.  If a meeting is cancelled due to the holiday season, then some of us are thrilled to have an extra hour or two.  But this time of year can be very difficult for many.  When a full calendar of events is insurance against loneliness, then the absence of regular events can make the days stretch out like empty, never-ending reminders of what (or who) is absent. 

Gentleness is in the list of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23), and that fruit has been showing up in my own thoughts and prayers.  In this season, it seems like a great time for Christ-followers to be gentle:  gentle with others as well as gentle with ourselves.  In this time of year, when the darkness is longer than the sunlight and so much grief and fear of the future seem to make us tender and more vulnerable, what if we work on being gentle? 

We know what it means to hold a baby or a small puppy or kitten with gentleness.  But what would it look and sound like to be gentle with others or with ourselves?  I suspect that the most effective place to begin to effect change is to work at being gentle with ourselves.  To be gentle does not mean that we excuse our own bad behavior or give up on our New Year Resolutions.  But to be gentle with ourselves could mean that we talk to and treat ourselves like we would treat a dear friend or loved one.  Instead of judging ourselves harshly or saying cruel things to ourselves in our hearts and minds, consider repeating the Catechism Questions we have so often used from Belonging to God: A First Catechism, PCUSA. 

Who are you?    I am a child of God.
What does it mean to be a child of God?    That I belong to God, who loves me. 

If God is Love (see 1 John 4:16), then how would God speak to us?  How does God treat us? Scripture says that God welcomes us home like a loving father welcomes home the son he thought was gone forever, and rejoices like a woman who finds a lost coin (Luke 15). Maybe the growth of the fruit of the Spirit begins with us being gentle with ourselves as God is gentle.  Then we will be better prepared to be gentle with others.  One thing I have learned in this church business is that we NEVER know what burdens or pains someone else is carrying.  Certainly, sometimes people just act badly and need to be held accountable (but that can be done with gentleness also).  But most of the time it is hurt people who hurt people.  Once we learn to be gentle with ourselves, then it will be easier to be gentle with others.  This holiday season, practice holding others with gentle hands and words when you can.  Let’s try to be more curious than furious.  This is a hard time for many. Many need a kind word, or a generous judgment.  Many need a hug or just permission to tell a story of someone who is no longer here.  May gentleness grow in us all  – by the power of God’s Holy Spirit.